Hire your pet

THE WORKFORCE HAS GONE FERAL

Your pet has a job now.

Turn their weirdest habit into an official title, employee badge, and brutally honest performance review—in seconds.

Clock them in
✓ No account✓ Instant download✓ Zero dignity
EMPLOYEE OF THE MOMENT
🐕
MOCHI · POP-78944

Chief Barketing Officer

“Strong leadership. Questionable boundaries.”

HIRED

FREE BADGE GENERATOR

Complete the background check.

No photos or personal data required. Tell us just enough to expose your pet’s professional identity.

THE FULL PERSONNEL FILE

One pet. An entire corporate scandal.

Download a seven-piece share pack: employee badge, résumé, disciplinary notice, promotion letter, performance review, professional bio, and “out of office” card.

  • Instant automatic delivery
  • High-resolution phone-ready files
  • Personal and social use included